Mommy...

Hey Bubba,

Nope, its not Sunday. Nothing big has happened since your last note. As a matter of fact it has been an uneventful couple of days and you have been busy flashing your pearly whites (yep, there are two of them now) for everyone to see. So I am going to take this time and talk to you a little bit about someone pretty special to you, someone you probably associate with everything good in your world, someone who does everything in her power to make you happy every day. I'm sure you have guessed by now who I am talking about, of course its your Mommy.

So where do we start? I guess we should probably start a long while ago when she was a little one herself. You see, even when your mommy was a little girl she wanted to have a little one of her own to help take care of. She was lucky enough to have your uncle Scooter come along when she was four years old but once he started to grow up and get bigger your mommy wanted to help take care of other little ones too. She would baby sit every chance she got and even asked your grandma and grandpa if they could adopt a little baby. That didn't exactly happen but she had plenty of chances to help take care of little ones as your cousins came along.

Then, after your mommy grew up and finished school she started seeing her friends have little boys and girls and she couldn't get enough of them. She always wanted to hold them and play with them and offered to babysit every chance she could get. Daddy was always happy to help out too but there was just something that sparkled in your mommy's eyes when she got to take care of a little baby. I guess that is probably because your mommy has always wanted to be just that, a mommy. She has always dreamed about a little one of her own to cuddle and play with and rock to sleep. She has always wanted you Connor. Now until you came along we did find ways to keep your mommy's mommy instincts working...

Now it took your mommy and daddy a while to get things in place and feel comfortable taking on so much responsibility, but as it turns out we needed all the prep time we could get so that we would be good and ready for you when you showed up. Back in February of last year your mommy found out that you were on your way. She cried when she told me about it and just like the tears she cried for you in the hospital, these were tears of happiness and love. She was finally going to be able to be the person she had always dreamed of being, a mommy. And at that moment your mommy became a different person. She has become and even more amazing person than she was before, and that says a lot.

She started taking all these silly pictures that for months at a time looked just the same. She started thinking about names and your mommy and I even created a game we would play to help us find names. She started watching all the things she was eating and making sure she got the right kinds of exercise. She started thinking about things like what kind of car we would need when you showed up. Your mommy was starting to put everything in place to make things perfect for you upon your arrival. She was full on in mommy mode, or so we thought.

Once we got closer to the big day your mommy was doing everything she could to stay strong for you, even though she was headed into the biggest and scariest day of her life. Not only did we not know how things would turn out for you but we had no idea how things would go for mommy as well. You started trying to come into the world early and mommy did EVERYTHING she could to keep you in and let you grow as much as possible but when you decided it was time she couldn't slow you down. You didn't make it easy on your mommy either, you decided to come out the wrong way and because of your medical issues you had to come out quick. The doctors said it would be tough but your mommy showed them what tough is. The doctor that delivered you was amazed at how well your mommy did and I can tell you that I have never seen anyone stronger than she was that day when you needed her most.

But in the face of all the odds stacked against the two of you, your mommy managed to get you out as healthy as you could possibly be. The doctors couldn't believe how well she did and I was in awe. She had to have some things fixed up after you were born but that didn't stop her from coming to see you at the hospital either. She made sure that she got a pass to come and visit you each night while she was still in the hospital herself. Nothing was going to keep her away from her baby boy. And as the days stretched into a week or two your mommy remained as solid as a rock, the foundation of our little family, as we waded through the medical mumbo-jumbo and the doctors, trying to find some light at the end of the tunnel. Even as she started to show the slightest signs of tiring she was given the gift every mommy wants most when their baby was born, she got to hold you tight.

And if there was a way for your mommy to all the sudden become even stronger and more attached to being YOUR mommy then it happened right then and there. She put on a special type of armor that only mommy's have, armor that defends them from anything that tries to hurt their little baby. She wears that armor today, and she uses it every time something scary threatens to hurt you. Your mommy would step in front of anything trying to come get you Connor. And every time she holds you and every time you smile at her that armor just gets stronger and stronger and her strength to help you and protect you gets stronger with it.

These days, now that we are out of the hospital, the things your mommy does for you are different than they were before, and there are a LOT more of them. She gets up early every morning to help with all of your care. She makes sure you are fed and have all your medicines each day. She does your trach care and your cath's and your baths and everything else that has become part of your daily routine. Your mommy does more by noon every day than most people can cram into a full day at work. And somehow, in the middle of all that, she finds time to cuddle and play with you like she has always dreamed of doing. 

She takes care of keeping track of all your appointments, she knows all your nurses and their schedules, she keeps up with all your therapists and their schedules, she even knows most of your doctors on a first name basis at this point I bet. I think every day just how lucky you and I both are that your mommy is as amazing as she is. I can't imagine another mommy in the world that would be able to do everything that she does and still keep the smiles and positive attitude coming. Every day she wakes up and no matter what the day brings she stays strong for you and takes care of you. Your mommy sure does love you little man. 

And do you know why she does all these things for you Connor? Because you are her little boy, and she is your mommy, and that is all she ever wanted to be. So lets be thankful together, you and I, and make sure that mommy knows just how much we appreciate everything she does and everything she is, because without her I think we would both be lost. Thank you Mommy, thank you for being the best mommy in the world. 

Now get some rest little man. Have some sweet dreams about that wonderful mommy of yours, because you can bet she will be dreaming of you. 

We love you Connor.

 - Daddy