Your First Halloween

Hi Little Man,

Today you celebrated your first holiday, Halloween.  Due to some sleepy juice this morning you didn't get to exactly celebrate but don't worry we will make up for it next year.  I know that daddy has told you how Grandma likes to celebrate holidays and birthdays.  Mommy has to be honest in saying that she inherited some of that holiday cheer from your Grandma.  Mommy especially likes Halloween because it involves a lot of candy, which is another of mommy's favorite things.

Although we may not have celebrated with decorations, candy and costumes this year we had much more exciting ways to celebrate today.  Today you took some more steps in your journey of getting better.  This morning the doctors decided to turn off all of your heart medicines because your heart was doing so well and didn't need them anymore.  Awesome job little superhero.  Now there's a chance they may have to use them here or there along the road but to not need them constantly in your system means you got to get rid of another pesky line.  This line was a big bother because it was actually two things; a line to measure your blood pressure constantly in the big artery in your leg and the other to put those medicines into your leg.  I don't think you liked this line much because it got in the way of kicking your leg.  So all three of us (and the nurses) were extremely happy to say goodbye to this line today.  Along with this line you got the pacer wires out of your chest.  Those were put there just in case your heart acted up but it never did because you're so tough so they never had to use them.  Still nice to have one less wire holding you back. Lastly you got the big tube out of your belly that they used for dialysis since your little kidneys are working hard to do their job and they don't need extra help anymore.  Have I told you lately how amazing you are?

All of that tube and wire removing wore you out for most of the day but I promise when you're awake and moving tomorrow you are going to be much happier about it.  You will need that extra rest because today the doctors ordered some new types of therapy....physical and occupational therapy.  Both of these therapists stopped by today and despite your sleepiness they were impressed with where you were at considering all you have been through.  I know you probably don't know exactly what these ladies were trying to do but I promise before long you will be an expert in therapy.  You see mommy is a physical therapist so you have been receiving a little therapy here and there since you were born.  Some of it you are a fan of like when I stretch you and move your little arms and legs.  Other parts I'm sure you would say you could do without like laying on your right side.  I have a feeling given the opportunity you would be moving enough to impress any therapist.

So as today comes to an end and mommy thinks back on past Halloween's, she realizes this is her favorite one yet.  Seeing you with a lot less tubes and wires is better than any party or crazy costume.  Seeing your precious little eyes open is better than any tasty candy or spooky decoration. Hearing how happy the doctors are with your progress is better than any trick or treat night.  That being said mommy is already brainstorming on what we can dress you up like next year and the fun we will have.

Here is a cute picture of you in your pumpkin hat that we took the other day since we knew you might not be up for modeling today.

Happy Halloween Connor.  Thanks for another great day and the best Halloween yet.

I love you,
Mommy

Puzzling...

Hey Buddy,

I just walked out of your room a few minutes ago, feeling an odd mixture of sad disappointment and happy satisfaction. You have been pretty out of it today even though you have had very little extra pain medication or sedation. I think you went from eighteen PRN's yesterday to three PRN's today, the last one at two-thirty this afternoon no less. And just in case you hadn't picked up already, PRN's are just the extra doses of medicine that you get when you get super excited or super sleepy. They are good things most of the time, and they are better things when you get less and less of them.

Today has been kind of a busy day for you. You have had lots of doctors swarming around again, trying their best to figure out how to put together the puzzle you have laid out for them. The pieces are all there now but its the wiggling and jiggling that they have to do to get them to fit together that we are watching these days. They were wiggling with your lungs but now it seems like they have those going the right way. Then it was your fluid levels but that tricky little guy has finally been turned the right direction and looks like it is locked in. Now they are dealing with the piece that represents your medicines and they are still turning that one a little bit here and there. They will get it soon though, I can tell they are close.

The next piece they are going to start working on is your little nose. That one has been on the radar for a while but it didn't have a place to go until they situated the pieces representing your heart and your lungs. Now that those are locked in the right place the doctors can move forward. They scheduled a surgery for you next week, Tuesday I believe. This one will be really minor and it will open up your left nostril so you can breathe better. They will go in and clean out some extra tissue and then place a little tube in (I think they call this one a shunt) to make sure it stays open. Should be a walk in the park for you after last Monday.

And do you know what it means when they get that piece in the right place? Oh buddy you guessed it, it means that we can get those tubes out of your mouth. WOO HOO. We may have a practice run with the breathing tube coming out later this week if your numbers cooperate but if all goes well with the surgery next week then you will get to take the breathing tube out and that other one that delivers mommy's milkshakes will be able to go through your nose. That means no more tubes in your mouth and you can finally do that thing you have been trying so hard to do for the last five months. Even I am excited for this one... you will get to SUCK YOUR THUMB! Its ok, you can be as excited as you want, it is going to be awesome.

So we have some big steps ahead of us little guy, but even though there are still a lot of pieces that have to be put in the right place so that we can all see the beautiful picture that is Connor there are more pieces in the right place than flying around loose now. The border has been put together and the center is starting to take shape. The "big picture" is starting to form and from where I am sitting it is quite a stunning view.

Now go get some more rest and keep getting better little man. Mommy and daddy will be thinking about you all night long.

We love you Connor.

- Mommy and Daddy

P.S. Mommy wanted to make sure and tell you "Happy Halloween Eve". She can explain later but you better get used to this one. :)

Sandy...

Connor,

Hey there little man. You and I are going to have a little bit of a different talk tonight. I want to share something with you about what is going on out in the rest of the world. Right now all along the east coast of our beloved country there is a storm that is ravaging the cities and towns there and leaving lots and lots of people in need. There are people losing their homes, their belongings, their pets, even some who are losing their loved ones. All of these people are going through some really tough times and this is just the beginning of what they will go through in the coming months.

So even though mommy and daddy are still here with you and our primary focus is (and always will be) you, we would like to take a minute so that the three of us can ask for help praying for all of the people being affected by hurricane (now some sort of storm) Sandy. So everyone out there reading this note tonight, join Connor and his mommy and daddy as we pray for God's hands to hold on to all of the people out there feeling the wrath of Sandy. We have been blessed with hundreds and thousands of prayers and tonight we want to point those prayers eastward.

This is your first big national event buddy, and it is going to be something people will talk about for a very very long time, so soak it up and send your thoughts and prayers out tonight. I know you are probably napping but I also know that with that big heart of yours there is plenty of love going out to all of those in need.

Get some rest tonight little man, sweet dreams.

I love you Connor.

- Daddy

Superhero

Hi Connor,

Happy One Month Birthday!!!  What a huge accomplishment today is for you.  Everyday daddy and I end our day by thanking God for another day with our little boy.  When we started we didn't know if we would make it far enough to thank him for a week not to mention a month.  Your strength and fight continues to amaze the doctors (including the one you just tried to hit despite the fact you are suppose to be under the power of sleepy juice).  Daddy and I aren't surprised in the least by how well you're doing.  We knew you were a superhero from the moment we met you.  Apparently word has spread about your superhero abilities because you received a gift in the mail that is very fitting.

It's the softest blanket Mommy has ever felt and has the superman logo on it.  It's cleverly designed so that when you're big enough it can turn into a cape.  It came with a card that said, "Every superhero needs a cape."  Mommy thinks that is extremely appropriate for you and I can't wait until the day I see you running (or flying should I say) around with it fastened around your neck like superman.  Extra special thanks to Kristen, Travis and Charlotte for your superhero gift.

Not only is today your one month birthday but it's also one week after your surgery.  What a milestone day.  Although it won't mean much to you right now the following statistics mean a lot to mommy and daddy.  In the past week you have have gone from 13 IV pumps to 9, gotten the line taken out of your heart, had your chest closed, gotten one of your chest tubes out, stopped needing your dialysis, started eating milkshakes again, and gotten rid of a TON of swelling.  We still have a long way to go buddy but you're certainly headed in the right direction.

 To say good work just doesn't seem to be enough.  Mommy and daddy also want to say thank you.  Thank you for fighting so hard to get better.  Thank you for being so strong when even mommy and daddy are feeling weak.  Thank you for being patient with all the poking and testing from the doctors and nurses.  Thank you for staying calm and being persistent during a few rocky spots.  Thank you for bringing hope to thousands of people.  Thanks for bringing our family closer than ever.  Thank you for making mommy and daddy's hearts so happy and completing our lives.

We couldn't be more proud to call you our son.  We love you Connor.

Love,
Mommy and Daddy

Happy Birthday...

Hey there little man,

I just wanted to write you a quick note and tell you Happy Birthday. Today you turn one month old. It may not seem like such a big deal but believe me when I tell you that it is a HUGE deal. One month ago today we didn't know if we would still have you with us right now but you have proven just how tough you are and just how much prayer and love can do for a strong-willed little fella like you.

I know mommy has a lot she would like to tell you about the last few days so I won't say much on here right now. We tried to send you a note last night but we couldn't get onto the internet (you will see that this is a pain the in butt on a semi-regular basis) so we couldn't send your letters. But just so you know you are doing great. Your nurse just told me that you had a good night and you are looking more and more like yourself every time I see you. Keep up the good work little man. I'll write you some more soon.

I love you Connor.

- Daddy

Your big brother...

Hey there Connor,

Daddy wanted to take a minute or two and talk to you about a very special member of our family who has been ridiculously excited to meet you for months and months now. He may not get to meet you for quite a while but I guarantee you he won't forget about you and he will be looking at your pictures on a very regular basis. He knows you in ways that even your mommy and daddy probably don't know you yet and he can always tell when someone has been close to you. The person I'm hinting about isn't a person at all though, its your big brother Ollie.

You see son, Ollie is a dog. I know you don't really know what dogs are yet but you do have a stuffed one in your little bed (even though he is blue and has some really crazy designs on his fur) that even barks like a little dog. That isn't quite what what they look like but it will give you a start. Dogs walk on four legs and are smaller than people, most of the time anyway. We bring dogs into our families for all kinds of reasons and some stay for long times while others are only with us for a little while. Ollie was brought in almost two years ago, right before mommy and daddy moved to Texas. We went and found him because we wanted someone for your sister (her name is Lexi and I will let mommy tell you about her) to play with and your daddy was really wanting a dog he could wrestle around with. Ollie was a little guy then, and he packed up with daddy and came to Texas to keep me company while mommy was finishing work in Ohio.

He became a part of our family quickly and kind of like you he taught mommy and daddy a lot of things about life and about each other. He was a great play mate for your sister Lexi and he always gave mommy and daddy something to laugh about, even though sometimes we laughed to keep from yelling. Your big brother is a bit goofy, and even more than that he is extremely uncoordinated at times. And he has no idea how big and strong he is because he thinks he is still just a little guy like you. This made mommy and daddy worried about how he would be with little kids but we were pleasantly surprised when we found out that he LOVES little guys and girls and he just wants to play with them and give them kisses. 

So when mommy and daddy found out you were coming I am pretty sure Ollie already knew. He had been acting a little funny toward mommy and for some reason had recently taken a HUGE interest in baby clothes and toys. From that point on it became almost like an obsession for your brother, every time we got something for you he had to smell it and make sure it was good enough for his little brother. He checked out everything we got while we were in Texas and then double checked it all again when we got here to Cincinnati. He sure does love you. 

Now since mommy and daddy have been in the hospital getting ready for you and then helping to take care of you we haven't been able to spend much time with you brother and sister but luckily Grandma and Grandpa have been taking good care of them both. Those two are a lot of work though, and your brother is especially a lot of work because like your daddy he needs to get exercise all the time or he kind of gets cranky. He doesn't know what to do with himself if he doesn't get to run around or go for walks or chase things. So since your Grandma and Grandpa have been so busy helping mommy and daddy (and you little man) it hasn't been easy to get Ollie all the exercise he needed.

Then Gigi came back to visit all of us and while she was staying with Grandma and Grandpa she and Ollie became really close. They kept each other company at night and they went on walks and played games and even slept in the same bed occasionally (Gigi didn't realize Ollie was climbing in bed with her at first, she couldn't catch him there because he is so quick). Every day when Gigi would get up she would take Ollie and Lexi outside and let them run around in the woods behind Grandma and Grandpa's house. Ollie especially loved this because there are sticks out there...

And as you can see, your big brother loves himself some sticks. He has grown some since that other picture but you can't tell him that because he is still just a little puppy at heart. He loves to run and play and chew chew chew. 

So mommy and daddy talked to Gigi and Grandma and Grandpa and decided that maybe it would be best if Ollie went to Texas with Gigi for a little while so he could run around in her big back yard and chase cats and birds and maybe even learn to swim. Gigi had a long talk with your Grandad Rooster and they decided that they would love to have a little more company around the house and that they would be happy to babysit your brother for a while until you and your mommy and daddy can get settled down somewhere of our own. Your brother has been to Gigi and Grandad's house many times and he sure does love it there. He chews on things and runs around and finds all kinds of animals to chase and then when he is tired he has plenty of cold concrete to lay down on. Not to mention the fact that it won't get quite so cold down there in Texas so Ollie will be happy about that. 

So this morning Gigi and your brother set out on a journey together. They headed back to Texas. Gigi came in to kiss you goodbye this morning and you were nice enough to grab her finger and give her a little goodbye hug as well. She was leaking some of that extra love that Gigi's have and she made mommy and daddy promise to send her lots of pictures of you. Then mommy and daddy went down to the car to tell your brother that we would see him again soon. He could smell you and he gave us kisses to pass on to you too. I know he can't wait to meet you Connor, and I can't wait for you to meet him. One of these days, as soon as we can, we are going to go visit Gigi and Grandad and Ollie and your brother can give you one of his kisses himself. They are a bit sloppy but there is no question how much love is behind one of those kisses. 

So in the mean time we will make sure and show you pictures of your brother and I'm sure Gigi will send more and more. But don't forget, he loves you little man, and even though he hasn't met you yet he will know you as soon as he sees you because he has known you for a long time already. So lets join together and send a great big "I love you Ollie" out to Texas (or wherever they happen to be in their journey so far). We know he is thinking the same about you when he closes his eyes and naps on his trip. 

Enjoy your naps you two (Ollie and Connor both) and we will talk again soon.

I love you Connor.

- Daddy

Breathe easy...

Hey there Connor,

Just wanted to drop you a little note before bedtime tonight. We don't have a ton to discuss today but we talked about a few days ago, "no news is good news". We didn't have any scary moments today and you had lots of visitors for the first time in a little while. You did get to meet some new doctors today too, and they did some good stuff for you little man.

Today started with Pappaw showing up and daddy going down to the cafeteria to meet up with a good friend of his. Daddy got a message today to let me know that some of his friends went through the trouble of making some delicious soup and salad for daddy and mommy to eat today. So I went downstairs to meet her and guess what... not only did she and her husband put together this fantastic meal for us today but she was leading the charge for a group who raises money for the hospital. And what is even more amazing is that their focus this year is the Heart Institute (that is the group of people who are taking care of you little man). They were having a bake sale and she gave mommy and daddy, and all of their nurses, some tasty treats and some really awesome magnets. Even though we will never ever be able to say thank you enough to friends like these we still try our best. It is people like this that make this hospital the most amazing place and the people who are taking care of you the best in the world. These are the people we thank God for every day son.

So Pappaw and Gigi and Grandma were all here today and they all got to talk to you and play with your little toes and tell you just how cute you are. Since you are still a bit on the sleepy side these days they don't get as much play time as they may want but they get every second in that they can. You better be storing up all that play time right now though, because they are taking rain checks even if you haven't been the one handing them out. :)

You did have one little blip on the medical radar today. Your little lungs have been having a bit of a problem getting themselves back into shape since your big surgery so the doctors made it their priority to get them back to their previous strength. They had some respiratory therapists working with you for the majority of the morning but when they couldn't get your chest pictures quite the way they wanted them the doctors had to step up the treatment a bit. They changed your tube (had one of your favorite doctors do it) again and then did a bronchoscopy (even though the spell checker tells me this isn't a real word mommy swears it is). Basically they put a little camera in your lungs and cleaned out some of the gunk that has been keeping them from working right. In order to do this they had to bring up a pulmonologist (another word that I learned today that apparently the spell checker hasn't caught up with yet) who talked to mommy and was very happy with your procedure. She said you did a great job so good work buddy, you were a rock star again.

Lastly your best friend Ben told mommy and daddy that your little heart is back to its old ways and pumping stronger than ever. At first they were a little worried about your left side because it wasn't quite right but today it looks GREAT. The doctors were all smiles when talking about your heart today, which is about as reassuring as possible. They are pretty proud of you little guy, almost as proud of you as mommy and daddy are.

I hope you are resting again buddy, sweet dreams.

I love you Connor.

- Daddy

Closed Up

Hi Connor,

Today started out pretty slow.  Mommy and daddy slept in a bit but still beat the doctors to rounds.  We then found out that today would be yet another big day for you.  Your numbers looked good all night so Dr. Morales decided today was the day when he would close up your little chest.  This made mommy and daddy very happy.  Impressively they brought the whole team to you and turned your room into a mini operating room so you didn't have to go anywhere.  Mommy and daddy waited a long time for the doctors to perform their magic and the nurses to get you all situated and finally late this afternoon we were allowed to see you again.

It's amazing how much better you already look after a few fancy stitches.  Dr. Morales said all went well and everything about your little heart still looked just as it should.  Great job little guy.  Now the nurses have to keep a close eye on you and monitor all your numbers like a hawk again for a day or two but I know you don't mind the attention.  Your little face is still pretty swollen but the nurses say that will get better everyday. Despite the swelling you still open your little eyes and look around whenever you can.  The doctors say after the next day or so they will be able to let you stay awake and move more so you better enjoy that sleepy juice now and rest up.

You got a pretty cool gift in the mail today.  Mommy opened it for you but don't worry I won't play with it until you're awake and can enjoy it.  The gift came a long way for you from Texas.  One of mommy's friends named Veronica sent it to you.  You have never met Veronica but her and mommy used to work together.  She has been excited about you since before mommy even knew you were growing in her belly.  The whole time you were in mommy's belly Veronica had everyone at mommy's work guessing if you were a boy or a girl.  She has been a really good friend to mommy and can't wait to meet you someday.

Now as cool as this gift is we need to talk about it a little.  As you can see in the picture below it's a Houston Texans teddy bear.  Although mommy and daddy lived in Houston and that's where you started growing in mommy's belly make no mistake the Texans are not mommy or daddy's football team.  Veronica wanted to make sure you didn't forget Texas and mommy and daddy agree with that but you'll have to decide on your own if you want the Texans to be your team.  Regardless it's an awesome gift and I can't wait to show you buddy.

Tonight is a big night for mommy and daddy because we are not sleeping in our little cot down the hall from you.  We actually left the hospital and are sleeping in the building next door.  It's a wonderful place called the Ronald McDonald house.  Today they gave mommy and daddy a room to use while you're recovering since we can't stay in the room with you right now.  The room is extremely nice and we're still super close to you.  It was still hard for mommy to walk out of the hospital but I know you are in the best hands and with some real sleep I will be able to be a better mommy.  The people at the Ronald McDonald house are amazing and daddy and I will tell you more about it tomorrow.

You have another big step under your belt little buddy.  Daddy and I couldn't be more proud.  Keep healing and resting so the three of us can play soon.  We love you more than ever and wish you sweet dreams.

Love,
Mommy and Daddy

Numbers...

Hey there little man,

So I have to admit this, even though I don't like to, but today... your daddy is pretty worn out. The last two days have been the longest two days of my entire life and even though they seem to have just disappeared into thin air right before our eyes (much like the rest of the last MONTH) they lasted weeks as each second played itself out in slow motion. I am sitting down to write this tonight with the intention of getting changed and getting into bed before ten o'clock. Now I am not saying that will happen because, as you know, things seem to go into some sort of time warp here in the hospital around nine pm. Somehow your mommy and I watch the clock roll over to the end of the eight o'clock hour and then blink once or twice and before we know what just happened its midnight and we are stumbling through the halls like zombies looking for a bed.

So tonight mommy and I have made a pact to get our stuff together, put our books away, write our little love letter to you early, and get our butts in bed before the time warp sucks us in and we lose another chunk of our day. We went out to dinner with your uncle Scooter and auntie Beth and had some chips and salsa and other yummy Mexican food that will sit in our bellies and help lull us to sleep soon. Maybe we will get lucky and there will be some mind numbing show on television as well.

The other reason we are going to get to go to bed early is because you have had quite a good day today little mister. I will tell you the truth here though... you don't look so hot right now. We haven't put up any pictures lately because you don't quite look like yourself just yet, but you are starting to look better and better now. And since you don't look so hot right now mommy and daddy have been trusting the wonderful doctors and nurses and focusing on the numbers that they are telling us and we are reading. I told you last night that time was going to be your biggest ally and so far that has proven to be completely true. The more time you get the more stable you, the better you start to look, and the better your numbers are.

So today I will tell you a little story about a guy who was not too fond of hospitals or doctors or even nurses really. This guy didn't like to go to the doctor for any reason, he didn't even like to go to the doctor when he was sick or hurting. He didn't like hospitals either, and it was always hard for him to be in hospitals, even if it was for something happy like a little baby coming into the world or someone getting healthier. He was scared of needles and tubes and blood and anything to do with bodily functions. He sounds like kind of a wimp huh? One thing he did like was numbers, he always liked numbers, even when he was a little boy.

Well this same guy had a little boy of his own, and that little boy had to be in the hospital, and that little boy had to have surgery and see lots and lots of doctors. Well this guy loved his little boy so much that he learned to help with the tubes, watch the needles get the blood, clean up the dirty beds, and talk to the doctors every day. And there was one thing that always kept this guy's head on straight when he thought the hospital and doctors and nurses and tubes would be too much... he focused on the numbers.

His little boy had numbers that could always tell the guy how he was doing and those numbers could tell the guy all kinds of things about the little boy like how his heart was doing, or how his lungs were doing, or how his head was doing, or even if he was feeling warm or cold. These numbers told the guy everything he needed to know and made sure that he and his little boy were always able to speak the same kind of language. The numbers could talk to the guy even when the little boy couldn't. The numbers saved the day.

Maybe one of these days you will figure out who this guy is and you can talk to him about his numbers because I'm certain he would love to tell you about them. Until then you just keep your numbers right where the doctors want them and get some good rest. Another day has come and gone and you are trucking right along like the hero mommy and I have always said you are. Keep up the good work son.

I love you Connor.

- Daddy

Mr. Popular

Hi Connor,

I know daddy already told you a lot about today but I just wanted to let you know how incredibly proud I am of you.  Today was quite the day for you.  Luckily you were able to take a nap through the craziness of it but because you're tough (and a little stubborn) you kept trying to wake up and see what all the fuss was about.  It seems the nurses and doctors may have finally found the right amount of sleepy juice to keep you napping and keep your numbers where they need them to be.  As mommy has told you before you are one of the most popular kids in this place.  You were visited by more doctors today then I think the rest of the kids on the floor combined.  This afternoon and evening one of the great cardiology doctors has spent almost every 15 to 30 minutes checking on you.  His name is Dr. Ileus.  You and he have met before but he's usually here in the middle of the night so you might not remember him.  Maybe next week will be his week to be the day time attending and you can get to know him better.  Ben has been here with you all day too and he's still here tonight watching over you.  Dr. Morales finally just left for the day a few hours ago but apparently he calls to check on you even in the middle of the night and comes back super early in the morning.

Your strength and persistence is beyond impressive.  Today is yet another example of how you have given mommy strength in a tough time.  I'm not sure how one little man can possess so much fight and drive but you are certainly a little package of dynamite.  You have brought all the doctors to their highest game and today your very experienced nurse even said "you worked her butt off and made her think more than any kiddo had in a while."  Mommy is usually a pretty patient person but today even her patience was tested until I started thinking about you and how you just hang in there and take things in stride.  Another amazing thing you have done without trying is connect thousands of people to God.  A lot of these people were already in touch with God but have started talking to him a lot more since your journey began.  Then there is another group of people who weren't so close with the big man but you have brought them to him.  One person told us they hadn't prayed in years until they heard your story and they haven't even met you.  That takes mommy's breath away.

Connor,  mommy just wanted you to know how you have changed mommy and daddy's life beyond words. We love you and couldn't be more proud of our little fighter. You are truly making a difference in not only our world but in people's lives around the world.

Sleep tight little man and dream of wonderful times to come.

Love,
Mommy

Another day with Connor...

Connor,

Hey there little buddy. I know we haven't had much of a chance to talk today since you have been sleeping all day but that is okay, you need the rest and the rest seems to be working. As one of your doctors told me just a few hours ago, "no news is good news now, so from here on we just hope that we have no news and let our biggest ally, time, work with us to make him better." That was one of the very many doctors that you were lucky enough to see today while you were taking your extended nap.

But today didn't start quite so slowly. You actually made sure that mommy was awake when you had all the doctors and nurses in here to see you at eight in the morning with no warning at all. Mommy was up and showered but daddy was still half asleep so when mommy was told she could not come in to see you she came to get me. Mommy was pretty worried about you right then. So we went to the family room and we waited with some really nice people that we have met while we were here, Sean and Heather, and they talked to us and helped to keep us calm as we waited for your doctors to come and give us an update on you.

It was only two and a half hours though, no biggie. But Dr. Morales did come back to talk to us and tell us that he is just like your daddy, a perfectionist, and when your numbers weren't perfect he wanted to know why and make sure there wasn't something more he could do to help you out. He checked every little stitch and every little artery and saw that everything was right where it should be. Your little heart looked just as good as it did last night when he left you. As it turns out you just needed a little more attention today to make sure you had the right amount of fluids coming and going throughout the day. It took them a while but they got you to your comfort zone and you have been cruising ever since. Good work little man.

So I know you haven't had as many visitors (at least not any who weren't doctors or nurses or techs or aids or therapists or.... some sort of hospital employee) the last two days but you are still kind of fragile and right now mommy and daddy are taking this time to spend with you so the three of us can be together. I know other people want to see you but until you are completely stable (and hopefully that spot in your chest will be closed up too) I think maybe mommy and daddy will be the ones watching over you. Don't worry though, lots of people are still thinking about you and praying for you and can't wait to see you after you heal up.

So I think today is winding down and mommy and daddy may wind down as well. Hopefully you are still dreaming of wonderful things and your little body is healing up quickly. Mommy and daddy are thanking God for his help in giving us another day with you and helping you heal even as we speak. Each day and each moment is something special and we cherish them all. Sweet dreams my son.

I love you Connor.

- Daddy

BIG Step...

Connor,

I know you have got to be exhausted after your ordeal today and to tell you the truth your mommy and daddy are too. Its been a long day but there have been a lot of people, thousands of people, praying for the three of us and you in particular. So here we stand, at the beginning of a new day, as a testament to the power of prayer and the power of God because it was He who held you tight and kept you from danger today and it was He who helped guide the hands of Dr. Morales and his team and it was He that gave your mommy and daddy the most amazing little boy with the strength of an army to carry them through this.

You are a hero son, the kind of hero we never knew until we met you and the kind we hope that we can one day be as well.

We love you Connor.

- Mommy and Daddy

Lessons from Connor...

Hey Connor,

Your mommy just wrote you a great note about today, telling you about all the time we spent with our family trying to get ready for tomorrow. I think your mommy and I have done about all that we can do to get you ready for your play date with Dr. Morales and his team so now we have to sit back and the let nurses and doctors do what they do best.

From what Dr. Morales told us about you the other day and what Dr. Goldenburg told us about you last week it sounds as if you are already teaching them about things that they didn't know were possible. Things like your beautiful little eyes being as healthy as they are, your complete responsiveness to sounds even though they say there is something wrong with your hearing, your kidneys getting better and better, your heart coming up with ways to keep you going even though things aren't quite right in there, and your consistent calm demeanor despite the tubes and wires all over you. You are teaching the doctors how well a baby can do in the face of adversity and you are teaching everyone else around you just what is possible with a strong will and the hand of God to help you along.

Not a day goes by that your mommy and daddy don't look at you in wonder as we realize that you have been the instrument of teaching for us in one way or another. You have taught mommy a whole new kind of love, one that I know she believed in but have never experienced until that wonderful day when you came to see us for the first time. You have taught her that sometimes we don't get the things we want, no matter how much we do or how good we are. And because of that lesson you have also taught her that sometimes the things you get, even if they aren't exactly what you thought you wanted, are the greatest things you could have hoped for (even if you didn't know you could hope for them).

You have taught daddy quite a few things too. Some directly and some indirectly, but all because of you in one way or another. You continue to teach me patience, both with you and your machines, but also with the people around us. You have taught me that anything is possible, and that the things in this world that seem important aren't necessarily important at all. You have taught me just how amazing family can be, and how a family can be strong together even when they aren't always able to be next to each other. More than anything, you have taught me that even someone so small, someone who looks so fragile, someone who has every odd against them, can lead people with strength and courage.

You have taught mommy and daddy some lessons together too. These lessons aren't quite as concrete as some of the ones I mentioned before but they are possibly even more important than anything we have talked about so far. You have taught mommy and daddy that we can do anything as long as we lean on each other. You have taught us that it isn't always going to be easy to talk about the troubles in our lives but that talking to each other will always help us get through those troubles. You have taught us trust. You have shown us that someone who has only met a handful of people in his lifetime can develop a following of people who, without knowing you at all, pray for you every day and find inspiration in your stories and your deeds.

Most importantly, you have taught us faith. Your mommy and your daddy have become people of faith in a way that we may have never been able to see if it weren't for you. Because of you son, we have learned that sometimes faith is the only light to lead us down the unlit paths that lie before us and that faith can take our hands and walk us down those darkened paths toward the light waiting at the end. You showed, and continue to show, us that the powerful yet comforting hands of God hold us with our faith and carry us when we need it most. You have given us a gift that will last a lifetime, has no price, and will hold us together forever.

And just for fun today, you used your new mittens to show us another age old lesson...

You are always teaching us something even when you are fooling around. 

Tomorrow is a big day for you little man, and I know you can handle it (probably even better than mommy or I could) but just so you know, your mommy and I are going to be right here for you every minute from the time you head to meet Dr. Morales to the time you come back to us tomorrow night. We will be thinking about you and praying for you and every time we close our eyes we will see you held tightly in the hands of the Lord as he guides you (and the rest of us following you) through the journey you will take tomorrow. Tomorrow He will be with you and with those doctors so don't you worry one little bit because God has a plan for you and tomorrow is just another step forward in that plan. 

Sleep well my son, dream of the people who love you as we dream of you.

I love you Connor.

- Daddy

Surgery Day Eve

Good evening little man,

Today has been another good day.  Mommy wasn't sure how today would feel with the anticipation of tomorrow building but much to my surprise it's been very calm.  As usual you have helped to lead mommy and daddy through today by your especially calm demeanor and happy attitude.  It's impossible not to smile when I look at you. You started off your day with a long snooze and looked especially peaceful.  Mommy feels like you look bigger today then even yesterday and your nurse even said you look more mature today then you did just a day ago.  Mommy and daddy measured you today and if our measurements are right then you've grown at least an inch and a half in length since you were born.  Seems like you're growing up to be a big boy right before our eyes.

Around noon some of your biggest fans showed up to see you.  Grandma, Grandpa, Gigi, Uncle Scooter and Auntie Beth were all here.  Pappaw wasn't able to come because he wasn't feeling 100% and didn't want to take a chance of giving you any little bug.  He was very sad not to be able to see you today but luckily he got to play with you a long time just the other day, plus mommy and daddy made sure to tell you some stories about him today.  No doubt you love your pappaw already and you'll be able to play with him again soon.  We all ate a gourmet lunch from the hospital cafeteria but sat outside because the weather was beautiful.  Mommy can't wait until she can take you outside too.

After we all filled our bellies mommy and daddy used some of our favorite tricks to wake you up so you could enjoy your visitors.  It worked pretty well for a while and you had fun hanging onto Uncle Scooter and Auntie Beth's hands, exercising your legs with Grandpa, listening to Grandma talk to you and smiling at Gigi.  I'm sure you can tell how much love there already is for you in this family.  Not to mention all of your family that couldn't be here in person today.  You have tons (literally) of people thinking about you and praying for you today and everyday.  I'm not sure there is a more loved little boy in the world right now.

As the afternoon went on all of your visitors headed out and you took a short nap before mommy and daddy were allowed to spring you from your crib.  Both mommy and daddy got to snuggle with you for a long time this evening.  You slept pretty sound while mommy held you but seemed pretty happy to be in my arms.  You got to sit on a boppy while mommy and daddy held you today which I think you really liked.  When mommy was about to hand you off to daddy you started to get fussy and mommy got a little nervous that daddy wouldn't get a turn.  Luckily your mommy and daddy know you pretty well and figured you were just hot from the super tight burrito you had been rolled in.  Much like your daddy you hate to wake up hot and like your mom you don't like to be trapped in a blanket (especially your feet).  Daddy was able to calm you down in almost an instant and you were thrilled to be in his arms.  You were awake and kept looking up at him with a bit of a smirk on your face.  Here's a picture of my two favorite guys (that's the special blanket aunt Julie made you).

Daddy and mommy ate a late dinner and now we're cheering for mommy's Bengals who are playing against the worst NFL team ever, the Steelers.  Mommy will be pretty understanding of who you pick for your favorite team some day but the Steelers are off limits.  Right now you are sound asleep and content as ever.  In a little bit the nurse is going to have to wake you up for your pre-surgery bath.  I'm not sure this bath will be as much fun as the ones you've been getting but it will make sure you are super clean.

I know the thought of surgery tomorrow might be a little scary for a little guy like you but then I remember who you are.  You are a strong willed gift from God.  You have continued to prove how appropriate your name is everyday of the past 3 weeks and I know that tomorrow will be no exception.  You are a tough, determined and amazing little boy.  You will be in the best hands possible tomorrow, Dr. Morales and his team.  You will have thousands of people praying for you across the world.  Mommy and daddy will be with you right until they take you into the operating room and waiting for you as soon as you get out.  We know that God will be holding onto you the entire time you are being worked on and he will guide the hands of Dr. Morales.

Thank you for another wonderful day Connor.  Mommy couldn't be more proud of you.  I feel extremely lucky to be your mommy.  Tomorrow is just the first big step in getting you better.  I hope you get some good rest tonight and have wonderful dreams of all the fun times that are ahead for you.

I love you,
Mommy
XOXO

Three Weeks...

Hey there little guy,

Happy three week birthday Connor! This is your mommy and your daddy and we wanted to tell you just how proud we are of you for all the fighting you have done and all the hard work you have put in to get this far. You have done so much more than the doctors thought possible and you still continue to surprise them every day with your strength and your progress. Today you have been pretty happy and it has been quiet again, which is really nice for mommy and daddy since we have been a little tired lately.

The only real excitement today has come right before you got your diaper changed. You would start moving, turn a little red, then set off your alarms and go into full "flip out" mode. After a quick panicked look between the two of us mommy and daddy figured out what was going on, you made a mess and didn't like it. This wasn't such a bad thing though. After the second (or maybe it was the third, I don't quite remember) mess in your diaper you were WIDE awake. Your little eyes popped open and if you had been able to get up and dance I'm pretty sure you would have. You were up for some play time, which worked out well because just yesterday mommy was saying that she wanted some more of that before your big day on Monday.

So you started out just flailing around and doing your usual gymnastics but then mommy decided to show off one of your awesome new presents (thank you Megan and Kara for these).

That little hat was (and is) a hit, everyone that came in and saw you just let out one of those "Awwwwww....." comments that dragged on for days. Of course it helped that you looked so frickin' cute when you wore it. But, because you are your father's son, you had to make a little noise, figuratively speaking of course, and try to pull your tube out while you were wearing it. As you can see in your little portrait above right when mommy tried to take the picture you looked surprised because you were in the middle of grabbing your breathing tube and giving it a good old fashioned tug. We caught you quick enough to stop the real damage though, and the tube remained intact. 

That look on your face... well lets just say that was about how you looked all day long. You were listening to mommy and daddy talk to you, Grandma was patting you, and Gigi was playing you music saved on her phone just for you. Turns out there are even people out there singing for you little man. So you looked all over the room again and again and did your daily calisthenics and of course made more than a few messes in your diaper while doing them. The good news is you don't seem to mind getting your diaper changed in the least. As soon as one of the two of us grabs that tab to undo your diaper you get calm and start looking around again. You aren't acting up at all are you? Not even a little? 

So your Grandma brought you more presents for your three week birthday, no stuffed animals or cakes this time but you will be happy with them none the less. One of them was The Velveteen Rabbit, one of the greatest children's books ever written. Now you may have to wait a month or two before you actually get to read it but in the mean time mommy and daddy will make sure and read it to you. You also got an beautiful card and Guardian Angel from your great aunt Marty. The writing in the card was awfully sweet and that angel is now hanging in your window, watching you every minute of every day. Your great aunt Rose sent your mommy a little present too, a really cool jacket that will come in handy in the cold halls of the hospital.

So after your exciting party this afternoon mommy and your nurse Ann decided to give you a quick bath (apparently your feet were stinking just a little) before mommy and daddy went out to dinner. Now you are all clean and smelling like soap instead of foot gunk. That must have been pretty tiresome though, because after that you were zonked, and I don't mean a little. You were out of it so Gigi offered to stay with you so mommy and daddy could go get some dinner together outside the hospital. Even though everyone here is great we do need some time in the outside world too. And tonight our friend Theo showed up to talk with us a while. He has two little ones who are going to be your friends one of these days so you will be seeing lots of him. Theo has a way of always getting your mommy and daddy laughing, no matter what the conversation is about he always gets us laughing. We can't thank him enough for that, because laughing isn't something we get to do a lot these days. 

As we were wrapping up with Theo and heading back to see your cute little face we got a text from Gigi telling us you had another diaper disaster but you were cleaned up and back to sleep in no time. If I didn't know better I would say that your Gigi sure does love staying here with you. She took this picture of you while she was watching you today, it is one of mommy and daddy's favorites.

You were wide awake and smiling at Gigi and it was pretty amazing. You have one of those smiles that just melts people and it starts in your eyes and moves through everything around you. When you are happy its impossible for anyone around you to be unhappy, and that is a pretty special gift little man.

So on that note I think we are going to say goodnight to you and go try to get some sleep. Tomorrow is going to be a big day for all of us as we get ready for Monday and having to spend hours away from you while your doctor works his magic. So you get some sleep too son, sleep well and have lots of sweet dreams of beautiful things and wonderful places. We will play again tomorrow.

We love you Connor.

- Mommy and Daddy

Snuggles...

Connor,

Mommy and I are pretty tired today. Not from doctors visits or from tests or long periods of waiting. Not from you being fussy or even from you playing all day. Mommy and I are tired because its been a long few weeks and I think we are starting to feel a little bit worn out. Lucky for us we did get a shot of rejuvenation today, the kind that only a mommy and a daddy can understand.

 Mommy and daddy got to hold you again today. For a long time too. You are pretty special, because snuggling up with you was enough to brighten us both up and give us the strength to keep on trucking. We signed the paperwork for your surgery on Monday right after we finished holding you and now we have a plan and a date and the right team for the job.

And do you know what that means? That means we are moving in the right direction. Toward more time snuggling and eventually some time snuggling at home. together. You just hang in there and keep on growing little man, you are almost to that seven pound goal we talked about and you still have two more full days to go. Sleep tight son, sweet dreams.

I love you Connor.

- Daddy

Another coincidence?

Hello Connor,

Daddy already gave you a pretty good summary of the day so don't worry I won't repeat it all but I do have to give my input on a few things.  As daddy said we FINALLY had the opportunity to meet your surgeon today.  Mommy was lucky enough to meet his nurse yesterday and you'll never guess what her name is.....Megan.  She is very nice and was extremely interested in helping you.  She thinks the world of your surgeon.  So much so that she moved across the country to continue working with him when he left his last job to take over chief of cardiac surgery here in Cincinnati.  Guess where Dr. Morales and Megan moved from..... Houston.  That's right just a few months ago they lived in the same city as Mommy and Daddy did but now we're all here.  Some would say this is a coincidence.  Mommy says it's another sign that God is sending extra special angels to take care of you buddy.

Dr. Morales spent a long time with mommy and daddy explaining his surgery plan and all the special little quirks of your heart.  Although he won't know exactly what he's going to do until he get's in there and sees your extra special heart he has a pretty amazing plan.  It was pretty interesting to hear him talk about how much thought he has put into you and how invested he is in fixing you up.   Although mommy and daddy know it will be a long journey for you we feel much better after meeting Dr. Morales.  His talent along with your strength and most importantly God's healing power gives us hope.

This afternoon Mommy left the hospital for a little while for a field trip. Mommy's big exciting field trip was to Target to get some clothes that fit (since most of mommy's non-maternity clothes are packed somewhere and the maternity ones are way too big without you in my belly).  It was nice to get outside and get some fresh air.  Mommy also enjoyed driving herself to the store.  This may sound silly but mommy's only driven about 3 times since the end of August when you started to get restless in my belly.

Mommy also got to visit with her good friend Amy tonight which was great.  It's kind of like a breath of fresh air to spend some time reconnecting with people you love.  Mommy has missed her friends a lot and can't wait for you to meet all of them and their kiddos.  You have a whole gang of little friends already which is pretty cool. I can't wait for the day when you can play with them all.

You are finally sleeping after a bit of a fight.  You sure are a stubborn little man already but as long as you use that fight to get better mommy and daddy won't complain.  No one can believe how long you stayed up playing this afternoon and evening.  We're hoping this means you're going to sleep great tonight.  Both Ben and Dr. Nelson are on call tonight but they've already stopped by so there's no reason for you to cause a scene just to see them.  Here's a cute picture of you while you were playing with Gigi and Grandma tonight and the second of you deep in thought while you were napping.

Sleep tight little prince.  Mommy loves you.

A new Doc...

Connor,

Well its been another kind of quiet day. These days provide daddy with very little to work with when trying to write up his letter to you at night, but I think I will take that over appointments and scares every day of the week. So let me start by updating you on a few things that we left hanging yesterday.

You finally got your new tube in last night, and everything went very well with that procedure. The doctors were happy with how you did and how the tube is working now. So good work little man. The new tube is allowing you to lay on your sides without you getting too worked up or alarms going off every five minutes. I know you can hear those things too because every time they start to go off you flip your lid and the cycle begins. Luckily that has only happened a few times today.

The other big news for today was that mommy and daddy finally met your surgeon, Dr. Morales. He was very very nice to us and said he has been thinking about you a lot the last couple weeks. Believe it or not he is really excited to help you out. He said that you are one of a kind and he really likes to work with kids who are one of a kind because they make him think and work at his best level. So without even knowing it you are making one of the doctors here in the hospital a better doctor just by being you. That is quite an achievement. He also said that he is planning to get you in to see him the first part of next week, hopefully first thing Monday morning. That part makes mommy and daddy really happy because it means he will be working with a full weekend of rest under his belt. However, I think he will take good care of you no matter when he works on you, everyone says he is the best there is.

Shortly after Dr. Morales left your Gigi and Pappaw showed up to spend some time with you. You were actually awake and playing with them for a long time today too. I think they enjoyed it as much as you did, but based on this picture I can't tell which one of you was more surprised when you opened your little eyes this morning and Pappaw was talking to you.

I think maybe it was you, but Pappaw had quite a look on his face too. : ) After he played with you a while he took daddy downstairs for some lunch and we got to talk quite a while. It sure has been nice to have your Pappaw come up here so much, he has been pretty darn good at helping to keep you entertained and making sure daddy has some time to go sit and relax over a good meal.

While we were downstairs Gigi played with you for a while too, she said you were quite the little rascal when you weren't sleeping. I can't imagine what she means.... Then Grandma showed up and she and Gigi watched you so that mommy could visit with one of her good friends and daddy could get out of the hospital for a little while. They said you were awake for almost three hours and were playful and happy the whole time. I don't quite think there are words to express the kind of happy that Grandma and Gigi feel when you are awake and happy with them, its pretty special.

Your Grandma also made all of us dinner (you'll get yours in your milkshake I promise) and it was delicious. We had salad and fajitas and she even made cookies for dessert. It sure is a good thing that you have so many people out there who care enough about you to bring mommy and daddy dinner and snacks, we would be lost without them.

So now mommy and I are winding down for the night and watching you fuss a little as you fight going to sleep. You are quite the "buster" when you don't want to go to sleep. Hopefully we are all headed for another quiet night though, it sure is nice when we can get some sleep. Have some sweet dreams son, think of the fun times with Pappaw and Gigi and Grandma today.

I love you Connor.

- Daddy

Midnight snack...

Little man,

Or little man of steel as I should call you tonight. Its twenty past eleven on a Wednesday night and you are getting ready to go through yet another procedure after a long twenty-four hours of doctors and nurses and respiratory therapists looking over you. I will be happy when today is over, but not nearly as happy as you will be when you can call it a day.

So here daddy sits, in the family waiting room, with his laptop, book, and a little snack. Mommy is making you a milkshake in one of the sleeping rooms right now and the doctors are getting ready to give you some sleepy medicine to help you rest while they take that frustrating little tube out of your mouth. Now don't get too excited just yet, because that tube doesn't get to stay out this time, your reprieve from that annoyance is going to be short lived. In fact, you are going to sleep through all of it.

The tube you have had in the last week and a half was not quite right, it was missing a piece that they call a "cuff". Basically that is the piece that makes sure you can't breathe too much around the tube while it is in your mouth. They didn't put one in last time because they thought the tube would only be temporary and you would be going into surgery within a few days. Well as we all know now that hasn't happened and because you have at least another five or six days until surgery the doctors (and especially the respiratory therapists) have decided it would be best for you if you got a new one with a cuff.

I won't recount the restlessness of the last forty-eight hours (for any of the three of us) but I will tell you that mommy and daddy aren't happy that they have to give you these sleepy medicines but we do believe that it is worth it to prevent you from having to go through another five days like the last two. I hope you can sleep through this part with the best of dreams buddy, think about your Pappaw's song, I know it helps me sleep at night when I need it.

But today hasn't been a bad day in general, there have even be a few bright spots to speak of. Mommy finally got to meet someone from surgery (we were actually beginning to think they didn't exist except in the fairy tales the other doctors and nurses told us). Your surgeon's nurse stopped by today to tell us that he will be by tomorrow to meet us and discuss his plans to repair your little heart so that we can get back to work on making you better. So more news on that tomorrow for sure.

Also, your mommy and I were able to go sit outside and have ourselves a little lunch date in the sunshine today. It wasn't anything spectacular but it was perfect for us. Your mommy is still glowing with that pregnancy thing you know, all she has to do is think about you and your cute little face and she literally glows with happiness. Even your daddy was able to glow a little today, but I'm guessing most of that was due to the sun on my face and looking at your mommy.

Then you had your round of visitors for the day. Your Gigi was there for a big chunk of the day again, and your Grandpa stopped by after work to hang out with you too. He got to play with you for a little while today before you threw a fit and maybe scared him a little. Its okay though, he will be back to play some more once we get this tube thing fixed. Your "aunt" Alisa stopped by to see your cute face and check in on your mommy too. She even brought us a gift to help us sleep better when we stay with you (like mommy did last night while Grandma sat by your bed and kept you happy, thank goodness for Grandmas). She and mommy hung out a while and seemed to have a good visit and I swear she makes your mommy feel younger somehow, like they are kids again. Its pretty cool to watch. Then your uncle Scooter and auntie (go with it, it feels so right) Beth stopped by with some dinner for mommy and daddy. It was super tasty. They hung out a while too, and you even got to play with them a little bit after we finished eating.

That one is you trying to go back to sleep while we played with you. Yep, you are wearing a hat again, and its only because it looks awesome on you, not because its cold at all, and we are okay with that. But you did look pretty cozy, so maybe we shouldn't have been bugging you... 

Well you are going to get plenty of sleep now so all will be well. I hope you have some fantastic dreams little man. Know that your mommy and I are thinking about you always. 

I love you Connor.

- Daddy

Weird day...

Connor -

Well today is as the title suggests, weird. Both mommy and daddy had to go take care of some things out and about today so that in itself was a bit weird. Then add to that your Gigi and Pappaw showing up at almost the same time to spend the day with you. Then put on top of that the fact that your POD was closed for about 3 hours today so those people inside had to hang out and those people outside had to wait. Then lets talk about your numbers..... or lets not because we have been all day long already. Oh yeah, and we still don't know about the surgeons and when they plan to help out with your little heart.

So all of that out there, I am sorry but this one will be brief. Your daddy is pretty exhausted tonight and even more than that my brain feels a bit fried from lack of sleep and some excess stress. But don't worry, there is NO way that you have anything to do with either of those little guy. :)

Today started and is ending in much the same way, with mommy and daddy standing over your bed talking softly to you and rubbing your active little hands. At five this morning you needed some alone time with daddy's voice and that calmed you down and then again at eleven this evening you appeared to need some of the same thing so you could calm down. Good news for you is daddy has plenty of that to give and is always happy to have some alone time with his little buddy.

Now that isn't to say that you always like your alone time with daddy. We had some of that this afternoon, or was it evening, and you were not very happy about that at all. As a matter of fact you managed to communicate that in a variety of ways. You made your heart rate go up, you made your oxygen numbers go down, you scrunched up your face, and then....

Thanks son, always appreciate a very clear message. You must be related to your great grandfather Paul Logsdon after all. 

I hope you are getting some good rest now (or at least soon if you will just close your little eyes) and hopefully we will have a better day tomorrow. 

I love you Connor.

- Daddy

A new week

Good evening little buddy,

As daddy mentioned today was pretty uneventful for you and we're just fine with that.  Mommy and daddy survived the weekly switching of attending doctors and I think you're going to like the one for this week.  It's your first lady attending doctor and she seems very nice.  Hopefully tomorrow we'll meet a very important doctor or at the very least get some information from him.  He's the guy who's going to work on your little heart one of these days.  It seems that everyone is getting a little frustrated with the waiting for your surgery but the good news is that everyone agrees your stable enough that it's not a rush.  The way I see it you have a few more days to grow and heal while we wait.

Mommy had an especially good day today because she got to hold you for about a half an hour.  I can tell you've already growing compared to last week.  You snuggled right into mommy's arms and we even got to sit in the rocking chair this time.  Mommy could have sat there rocking you all day and night, kissing your forehead and smelling your clean and wild hair.  You were happy as could be until all of the sudden your little face got it's angry look and you started to set off a few of your alarms so the nurse made us get back in bed.  Turns out you made a mess in your diaper and weren't too happy about it.  You got yourself a little worked up and actually spit up for the first time but luckily the nurses checked your lungs and said there was nothing to worry about (just a little normal baby spit up).   Unfortunately daddy didn't get a chance to hold you today but I promise mommy will try her best to give him a turn tomorrow.  Your daddy was awfully nice to let mommy go first and snuggle with you.

Our good day continued with Grandma and Gigi visiting time.  Both were here while mommy got to hold you and I think they enjoyed it almost as much as mommy.  You stayed awake for a long time this afternoon playing with Grandma and then Gigi read you every book you have.  During your play time with your grandma's mommy and daddy had some visitors of our own.  First a visit from mommy and daddy's friend Megan (not your nurse Megan but another Megan that I know you'll like).  She wasn't able to come back and see you yet but she can't wait to meet you.  She brought mommy and daddy some tasty dessert that mommy ate about 5 servings of so get ready for a sugary milkshake buddy.  She also brought you a cool book about animals and a picture frame.  The evening continued with another visitor for mommy and daddy, our friend Julie.  She brought some delicious dinner and made you a special blanket.  We didn't get to use it today but I'll have to take of a picture with you in it tomorrow.  It has monkey's on it and matches your stuffed animal Nelson.  How appropriate.  Julie loves monkeys and I think she wanted to make sure you like them too.

Now you're resting peacefully and mommy and daddy are going to try and get some rest too.  Mommy and daddy have some business to take care of tomorrow while you're napping so let's hope for a quite night.  I have to include one more picture for your fans to see because it's one of mommy's favorites.  It shows off your wild hair after your bath last night plus your super cute face.

I love you sweet baby boy,
Mommy

Hurry up and...

Connor -

Well this is going to be a bit of a short one today, but to be honest we are kind of in the mode of "no news is good news". Today has been another quiet day and you have been a pretty quiet little boy. The only real excitement for you today was a brief re-tape on your tube but even that was not something to raise your heart rate for. There was a little bit of fun for you today, but I think I'll let mommy tell you about that in just a little bit. :)

We did get to meet a new doctor today, her name is Catherine. Not "Dr. ....", but just Catherine. Daddy didn't know what to say because he felt like he should call her doctor but no one else was calling her doctor so I just tried to follow along and not sound too awkward. She was super nice though, the kind of doctor who talked to me like I was a fellow human being, not a patient (or patient's daddy). It was refreshing to talk to someone like that, we don't get that very often.

She started the day off by talking about you a little bit at rounds today and then saying that it was "about time we had a date/time for surgery" so that the three of us could start making plans. She told your mommy she would get on top of things and let us know when you are going to go get your little heart worked on. As it turns out though, our surgeon was in the operating room all day long and couldn't be reached but Catherine told us she would get on him first thing tomorrow and get us an answer. She told daddy today that she wanted to get things moving so we weren't spending Christmas here in the the CICU. That one made daddy smile.

So the gist of the entire day today, and the last four or five days really, is mommy and daddy and little Connor need to hurry up and wait around. Lots of waiting, lots and lots of waiting. But if it means you can keep playing with us and growing then you  know what, we are okay with it.

We have had some friends come by and bring us smiles and hugs and tasty treats but just like your surprise I'll let mommy talk about that in a bit. For now I think I am going to try and get some rest because mommy and I have a big day of stuff tomorrow and we need to be rested up. I hope you are having a good dream right now little man, and I hope you sleep well all night long.

I love you Connor.

- Daddy

Clean at last...

Connor -

Well I have to start off by telling you that much to your mommy's disgust her Bungles, oh wait I mean Bengals, managed to go from looking really good to looking like a bunch of middle school kids on recess. It was a rough afternoon for mommy. Daddy's team didn't play today but we took our beating yesterday so I'm okay with a little bit of a break. We did watch football most of the day today though, which meant another lazy Sunday for the three of us (plus Gigi for a while and then Grandma and Grandpa for a while).

You slept a big chunk of today, despite our best efforts to wake you up and get you moving you were a zombie. Not the ugly kind of zombie with bad skin and a limp, but the kind who just won't wake up no matter what you do to him. That was you, all day long. But that made for an easy day for mommy and daddy and Gigi. After mommy's football game your auntie Beth's mommy brought us some yummy dinner. She brought us all kinds of stuff for dinner and then a big pie for dessert. It was awfully sweet of her and your mommy and daddy appreciate it so much.

After that your Grandma and Grandpa showed up and played with you for quite a while. They tried and tried and tried to get you to play but you just kept giving them the evil eye. After about an hour of making noises and and poking you with stuffed animals and even tickling your feet Grandpa decided you were too tired to get up and play. He was a little bummed about that but you know what, I think he still enjoyed every minute of it so don't let him tell you otherwise. Now this next part may make Grandpa jealous...

Right after Grandma and Grandpa left your nurse came in and told mommy and daddy that we could give you your first real bath. We were a little nervous at first but you did great. You didn't cry, you didn't flinch, you didn't even get red or angry, and your heart rate stayed low the whole time. Believe it or not, I am pretty sure you enjoyed that bath. The only part you seemed a bit freaked out by was when your mommy decided it was time to fix up your nice clean hair.

That blur in the picture is the little mini brush that your mommy was using to fix up your hair. And that look on your face says just about everything it needs to. "Mommy, what in the world are you doing to me?!?!" But mommy wanted to see your pretty hair all spiked up so that is what she did. And I have to admit... it was pretty darn cute. 

Well now mommy is reading you a story and daddy is getting ready for bed time. We are hoping you are nice and quiet tonight so we can all get some good sleep. For right now we are just happy to have the little bits of awake time with you that we get and hope for uneventful days so that the doctors don't have any reasons to come back in here. Good work little man.

I love you Connor.

- Daddy

Happy 2 week Birthday Connor (a day late)

Hi little man,

You're only 2 weeks old and already mommy can't keep up with you.  Yesterday we celebrated your 2 week birthday and mommy had great intentions of writing all about it but to be honest she just got too tired.  As daddy told you yesterday was a fun day.  You got some good rest, woke up and played for quite a while, moved pods, and had your first babysitting adventure with Grandma and Gigi while daddy and mommy both left the hospital together for the first time.

In two weeks it's amazing how much you've already changed.  Especially the past few days your daddy and I have been talking about how different you look.  You have been chugging down your milkshakes and as the scale shows you're gaining some weight.  A few ounces makes a big difference on a little guy.  You are so animated with your facial expressions.  When you get mad it's very obvious to everyone.  You love to raise one of your eyebrows and look around when you're curious.  Despite the tubes in your mouth both daddy and I swear we can see you smile.  It's also pretty funny when you stick your tongue out or try and suck on the suction machine.

Your hands are another story.  For a little man you have pretty big and active hands.  You LOVE to hold onto your tubes and it often seems that you are just waiting for the perfect time to give them a good yank.  The nurses get nervous when they see your blanket moving and you sneak those hands out despite their best burrito efforts.  They have to change your oxygen monitors and leads a lot more often then they do on most kiddos because you are so active and the stickers wear off.  Mommy and daddy try really hard to keep your hands busy while you're awake so they don't have to give you any of that sleepy medicine to keep your tubes safe.  You love to wave and do baby aerobics.  You appear to throw out a lot of gang signs with those busy fingers and more than once your nurses have caught you sticking up one finger in particular (always seems to happen after they do something you don't like).

You love laying on your left side.  Mommy and daddy think that might be the case so that you can hear what's going on since it seems your right ear is your better ear.  I also think it's because you face the door and then you can see who's coming after you.  Last night the nurse turned you to your right side and used your baby tempurpedic cushion to prop you that way.  By the time she washed her hands you were flipped back to your left side and she was amazed.  You do this several times a day but it keeps us all on our toes.  Being a physical therapist mommy is always especially worried about turning you but I have to admit I love seeing that you have the strength to undo our best efforts.

As you may have realized your Grandma is pretty big on celebrating birthdays and holidays.  As she did last week she brought you a birthday treat.  A pumpkin cookie with 2 candles.  Daddy and I split the cookie in your honor and you'll be getting a taste of it in your milkshake before long.  She also brought you a little stuffed animal dog.  It makes crinkly sounds and if you squeeze it you hear a dog barking.  Grandma thought you might be missing that sound since you heard Ollie and Lexi barking so much while you were in mommy's belly.  Your new toy has a ring on it which you seem to enjoy hanging onto plus it lets us hang it on your crib.  Thanks Grandma for the treats and we can't thank you enough for babysitting :)

When the doctors rounded at night they literally had nothing to say about you except that they hoped for a quiet night and no fever.  This is definitely one of those times when no news is good news.  The weekends are pretty quiet here so mommy and daddy were able to get a sleep room without a problem.  Gigi stayed in your room with you so mommy and daddy could cuddle up on our little cot down the hall and get some rest. You woke up for a little while in the middle of the night when mommy was in here but went back to sleep without a major fit.  Gigi looked out for you and kept you happy all night. Thank goodness for Gigi.

This morning you were wide awake and happy which was a special treat since you haven't proven to be much of a morning person.  Now you're sound asleep while mommy watches her Bengals kick some Cleveland butt (hopefully they keep it up).  Can't wait to play some more later.

I love you Connor,
Mommy