Gurgle gurgle...

Hey there little man,

Sounds like today has been a pretty quiet day again. I wasn't here for the first part of it but mommy was and she said you were pretty content all morning with only a little bit of a fit this afternoon when they had to do a little suctioning to clear you out some. You and she had some play time and you had some nap time and you are using all this sleep to get back on the growing schedule you were on before all this stuff with your nose started a few weeks back. All in all good stuff.

Then this afternoon daddy came in and got to spend about three-point-six seconds with you before you threw your first of a few fits. These weren't terrible fits, they were small and centered around the gunk in your throat that you just couldn't quite get out. Once I helped you with a little suctioning you calmed down again and we went on our merry way, me to my laptop and you to your naps. Of course it wasn't long before I was back over by you rubbing on your little head and patting your belly as you slept. I really wanted to just crawl in that tiny bed with you and take a nap but I'm fairly certain that wouldn't have ended well for either of us. I settled for resting my head on the bed next to you for a while, and it was fantastic.

Then, after quite a while of quiet you did have what I would have to call one of your episodes. You started to cough a bit and then you started to gag and then you turned purple in a fit of rage. I don't think you were mad about anything except for the fact that you wanted to get that stuff out of your throat and you just couldn't. This time daddy's help wasn't enough so your nurse had to put a catheter down your nose and pull out some nasty stuff (that was super thick) so you could breathe. Even though you needed it you were NOT happy about it.

Your heart rate went to the 190's for the first time in a long time and you were flailing about, trying everything you could to get the tubes out and all of us to leave you alone. I tried everything I could think of, from picking you up to patting your chest to rubbing your forehead, but nothing was going to soothe you. Well, nothing except that dose of medicine the nurse gave you. Shortly after that you were back to sound asleep and dreaming. You did open your eyes again for just a moment or two when your new night nurse came in a bit ago (you have had her take care of you before and she does a great job) but I think that was just to get a little flirting in. You sneaky little guy you.

So now we are trying to figure out what exactly is going on with your little nose and your throat. The doctors have been in and out since daddy got here and even Dr. Morales stopped us in the hall a little bit ago to talk about what is going on and what kind of steps we need to take to get you better. There are several options out there but we are going to have to take this one day at a time to let the doctors and their fancy tests determine what route will help you the most. I think we have all given in to the fact that this is going to happen on your timeline and no one else's so we may as well take our time.

It does sound more and more like you will be getting a little tube in your belly to help us feed you though. We have been doing a little bit of reading about it and found that it may be a good idea for you to have one even if we can get you to feed on your own. You are going to need a lot of extra calories in the upcoming months to get you growing so if that makes it easier then that is what we may have to do. Mommy and daddy have realized that even though it may not be ideal it may be what is best and that means we are on board with it. But with this route comes more testing and more questions so try not to get too frustrated with us in the next few days as we try to get everything in order for this next big step.

But for tonight you have nothing more to do than try and sleep. Hopefully the "gurgle gurgle" in the back of your throat won't wake you up tonight but even if it does hopefully it won't be for long. Keep on trucking little man, you are making big strides every day, even when the rest of us can't see them I know you are. Every day is a victory buddy, every day. So sweet dreams little man, sleep tight.

I love you Connor.

- Daddy