Red man...

Connor,

So as you may have caught on from last night's note that the last few days have been another one of your roller coaster rides. You got mommy and daddy all worked up and excited and then you took our stomachs away from us when you dipped down again. People keep telling us that we should expect our time here to be filled with "one step forward, one step back" scenarios and they are certainly right about that. It seems like some days are two or three steps forward but they are usually followed by one or two steps in another direction (not always back but not forward either).

So as it turns out the little saying that the three of us have been clinging to for dear life these last several months is even more appropriate than we could have possibly imagined. "Holdin' On". That is what mommy and I have been saying to you and to each other since we had our first little scare with you months ago in Texas. We would ask you to hold on and then we would tell you that we were just "holdin' on" too. The days leading up to your birth and your big surgery we talked to you about God "holdin' on" too because we know he hasn't let you go since you first popped up on his radar.

But as the roller coaster has followed its tracks up and down and round and round these last few days we have had one somewhat consistent part of the ride. You are red. And I don't mean like a sun burn red, or pink like you just got a good scrub down, but red like you are mad at the world. If only the reason behind your new color was as easy as your temper though. Just like with everything else the whole hospital has been coming up with ideas about what could be causing it but each one gets shot down as quickly as it pops its head up.

So here we sit, you and I, and I am looking at your adorable little face and hoping that the redness will go away even though I know better. Your Pappaw was up here to see you today and he made a good point about it though, when we do figure out what is causing it we will all probably slap ourselves in the forehead and just say "DUH". Like most seemingly unanswerable riddles in life the simplest solution is most likely the one staring you in the face the entire time and is so obvious you miss it. Your mommy and I rack our brains every night (and most of the day too) thinking that suddenly a light bulb will appear over our head and the answer will come to us. But alas, no such luck.

However, before you get worried, the red tone of your skin doesn't seem to indicate any kind of discomfort or give you any grief at all. You have been awake and happy, sleeping and happy, even moving around a little bit (you may have made another mess in your bed today and required a blanket change) and happy. So we may not know what is causing it but at least at this point no one is worried that it is a bad sign for you or any of your little organs. Like I said, its probably something simple that we are all overlooking right now. I bet you know, and I bet you aren't telling.

I can't say I blame you, you have had so little control over things since you got here that you probably want to give us a little payback and watch us squirm for once. Lets just make a deal though, if it starts to get worse, or we get to the opportunity to get rid of that breathing tube, you will either let us know or make it go away. Sound like a plan? I won't tell anyone else that you are toying with them and you just wrap it up in time to make the tube go away. I'll take your slight head nod and pseudo-blink as a yes. My lips are sealed.

Now that we have that worked out I think mommy and I are going to go find some dinner for ourselves and let you take a nap. You have been awake a lot today and I know you have to be tired. So get some rest and don't forget our little plan. I'll talk to you again soon.

I love you Connor.

- Daddy