Beautiful Boy...

Conor -

Today is wrapping up and here again I sit with my laptop across my legs and my heart in my throat. I am watching you sleep peacefully from across the room and I find myself humming a song I heard today. Today wasn't the first time I heard this song, but it was the first time I had heard it from this side of the crib walls. Thirty years ago, in a small house on the side of a road that no one knows, my father used to sneak away to my crib where he and I could be alone and he would sing to me. It wasn't twinkle, twinkle or star light, star bright, or any other traditional baby's lullaby, it was something special that my father shared with me in those quiet times and to this day it brings a tear to his eye to tell me about it.

"Close your eyes, have no fear, the monster's gone, he's on the run, and your daddy's here... beautiful, beautiful, beautiful boy...." John Lennon's words whispering from my father's lips eased me to sleep thirty years ago just like they did for you this morning as he leaned over your crib. Your Pappaw brought that song for us today, so that I could sing his lullaby to you when we are alone like he did for me when I was his little baby boy. Before he passed that right on to me though, he took his turn and leaned into your crib to kiss your forehead and tell you he loves you before softly whispering those magical words as you slept.

Tonight I have been listening to that song and humming it to you while you sleep ever so softly wrapped in your blankets. I have been thinking about the day today and just watching you, basking in your calm. Today was another tough one son, more for your mommy and I than for you but I know that we would both prefer it that way every time if we have the choice.

Today you met a few new doctors and had some crazy tubes in your nose and your ears thanks to them. Then of course you got to see a few of your old buddies from cardiology and urology but they were just here to chat today so they didn't bother you nearly as much as usual. But when your arch enemy, the ultra sound machine, showed up you did get a little upset and do your best Chuck Norris impression to keep it away. That only lasted a minute though, we quickly went to playing "patty-cakes" (something I NEVER thought I would type in my life) and you calmed down and spent the rest of the exam looking around the room with those big blue eyes of yours.

After that Grandma and Grandpa showed up to take mommy home for the night and visit with their favorite grandson. Since today was apparently the day for grandfathers to melt our hearts your Grandpa decided to come over to your crib and play with you. It brought tears to your mommy's eyes and even choked up your Grandma I think. Grandpa was so content to just rub on you and tell you how good you look. You gave him a gift too.... you are the only one in the family who seems to really enjoy it when it plays with your feet, and I'm not sure there could be a greater gift to give your Grandpa.

Now I told you earlier that today was a tough day for your mommy and I, and I just want to tell you that it was tough only because we love you so much and we just want the world for you. As far as we are concerned you should just be crowned King of the World today. But since we didn't get to give that to you today we were a little sad. Its okay though, we still have tomorrow kiddo.... ;-)

I hope you enjoyed that song today as much as I did, both thirty years ago and today. I don't think I'll ever forget that song again, and I'm pretty sure that no matter how old you are I will always hear it when I see you. You are my "....beautiful, beautiful, beautiful boy...." Connor, just like I was for your Pappaw, and because of your smiling face we can all three sing it together now. Thank you son, for yet another gift you have given us, you are truly amazing.

I love you Connor.

- Daddy