Lessons from Connor...

Hey Connor,

Your mommy just wrote you a great note about today, telling you about all the time we spent with our family trying to get ready for tomorrow. I think your mommy and I have done about all that we can do to get you ready for your play date with Dr. Morales and his team so now we have to sit back and the let nurses and doctors do what they do best.

From what Dr. Morales told us about you the other day and what Dr. Goldenburg told us about you last week it sounds as if you are already teaching them about things that they didn't know were possible. Things like your beautiful little eyes being as healthy as they are, your complete responsiveness to sounds even though they say there is something wrong with your hearing, your kidneys getting better and better, your heart coming up with ways to keep you going even though things aren't quite right in there, and your consistent calm demeanor despite the tubes and wires all over you. You are teaching the doctors how well a baby can do in the face of adversity and you are teaching everyone else around you just what is possible with a strong will and the hand of God to help you along.

Not a day goes by that your mommy and daddy don't look at you in wonder as we realize that you have been the instrument of teaching for us in one way or another. You have taught mommy a whole new kind of love, one that I know she believed in but have never experienced until that wonderful day when you came to see us for the first time. You have taught her that sometimes we don't get the things we want, no matter how much we do or how good we are. And because of that lesson you have also taught her that sometimes the things you get, even if they aren't exactly what you thought you wanted, are the greatest things you could have hoped for (even if you didn't know you could hope for them).

You have taught daddy quite a few things too. Some directly and some indirectly, but all because of you in one way or another. You continue to teach me patience, both with you and your machines, but also with the people around us. You have taught me that anything is possible, and that the things in this world that seem important aren't necessarily important at all. You have taught me just how amazing family can be, and how a family can be strong together even when they aren't always able to be next to each other. More than anything, you have taught me that even someone so small, someone who looks so fragile, someone who has every odd against them, can lead people with strength and courage.

You have taught mommy and daddy some lessons together too. These lessons aren't quite as concrete as some of the ones I mentioned before but they are possibly even more important than anything we have talked about so far. You have taught mommy and daddy that we can do anything as long as we lean on each other. You have taught us that it isn't always going to be easy to talk about the troubles in our lives but that talking to each other will always help us get through those troubles. You have taught us trust. You have shown us that someone who has only met a handful of people in his lifetime can develop a following of people who, without knowing you at all, pray for you every day and find inspiration in your stories and your deeds.

Most importantly, you have taught us faith. Your mommy and your daddy have become people of faith in a way that we may have never been able to see if it weren't for you. Because of you son, we have learned that sometimes faith is the only light to lead us down the unlit paths that lie before us and that faith can take our hands and walk us down those darkened paths toward the light waiting at the end. You showed, and continue to show, us that the powerful yet comforting hands of God hold us with our faith and carry us when we need it most. You have given us a gift that will last a lifetime, has no price, and will hold us together forever.

And just for fun today, you used your new mittens to show us another age old lesson...

You are always teaching us something even when you are fooling around. 

Tomorrow is a big day for you little man, and I know you can handle it (probably even better than mommy or I could) but just so you know, your mommy and I are going to be right here for you every minute from the time you head to meet Dr. Morales to the time you come back to us tomorrow night. We will be thinking about you and praying for you and every time we close our eyes we will see you held tightly in the hands of the Lord as he guides you (and the rest of us following you) through the journey you will take tomorrow. Tomorrow He will be with you and with those doctors so don't you worry one little bit because God has a plan for you and tomorrow is just another step forward in that plan. 

Sleep well my son, dream of the people who love you as we dream of you.

I love you Connor.

- Daddy